Argument on tumblr :
Peasant: You’re super skinny.
Person: No! I am not. I am so fat, I’ve got some muscle on my bones. You’re just complimenting me. I think I am going to starve myself today.
Recently I saw one of Scarlett Johansson’s photo being severely airbrushed on photoshop in order to avoid showing off her extra fat. Her orangish hair flutters to the breeze and her dry cheeks caked with make up with a tint of blanch fear poses for the camera. Her eyes mirror the camera light held at a 90 degree angle from below. She smiles right at the camera and *click*, the photo is taken. Then comes the time of post-processing. So the scientists of software solutions, sit for hours experimenting contrast and exposure settings on their PC/laptop. They correct, refine, fine tune every aspect of the model’s body upgrading her to look like a damsel by each layer. This happens with models in general as compared to actresses! If this is what beauty is all about, then I think it is a must for every women on this goddamn planet to get themselves airbrushed in real life too? Why choose to be yourself when everyone around you thinks being a different person is ultimate realness?
The whole world is being lured by the skinny ideology and every body wants to have a perfect version of themselves. They want better skin, better hair, flawless teeth and whatever they see in those mannequin like models on Victoria’s Secret shows and magazine covers. Young women are always conscious of their diet. They suck in their stomach muscles while posing for photos so that their loose tummy fat does not get filmed on roll. They visit beauty parlours often than they had visited their school’s library. I knew a girl from my class who regularly drank 600 ml of water every day before our farewell party in order to lose her tummy fat. Women have always been conscious about themselves. The best get taken. They worst are left to rot till their fucking bones. Women want to look best no matter what.
Isn’t it how fairytales go? That a handsome prince always selects the most beautiful and wondrous among women? That she is high and mighty with a sparkly fair complexion and looks thin as a spoon? She is as delicate as snow and walks as though the earth feels no pain on her gentle bosom? Well, princesses, you are teaching us so well. We are indirectly fed with the idea of perfection. We are groomed to be perfect people. In reality, a lot of us survive the test! There are the others, like me, the misfits who ended up having acne and pores clouding our skin, extra fat from all the eating and brooding over depression and anorexia/ eating disorders. Our eye sight wandering lost after all those days we spent searching for tips on the internet to improve ourselves so we could at least stand in the back line of a beauty contest..!! Well, nothing ever lasts the way we desire it would. Our existence doesn’t matter.
We are called names as we walk down the road. I have stared at my reflection for at least 20 minutes before I tie my hair. I have avoided social contact to my possible best. My family searches and hunts down clinics and appointments to fix my face. I have grown fat from eating all the candies and sweets. What’s the use of inner beauty? Nobody is going to talk to you if you’re pathetic and ugly looking on the outside. I have taken photos and deleted it the very next moment in my camera. I’ve never found any appropriate quote to fit adjacent with my profile photo on facebook. I have been a different person ever since this started. I have lost faith in myself. See where an article takes you? Do I need therapy? Am I going crazy? I don’t know.
I am running in circles trying to figure out why I am the way I am. I have a tough time accepting myself for how I look. Its 12:50 in the morning. I don’t know if this is an article or a footnote or an after thought. If this is spoken word, I’d read it. Spoken word is meant to be sad. They should devastate those who hear it. But who will it devastate? None.